Family; Because Of, Not Despite Of
Deception comes in various forms and I was deceived… For many years, on a subconscious level, I felt that to be successful and be all that I could be meant that I had to get as far away from my family as possible. And there is some truth to it, but it doesn’t serve every season of your life. It may have worked for you while growing up in a particular family, but that will not work when you are trying to build your own family.
Chris, my husband and I, both grew up in very dysfunctional and/or broken families. We didn’t have a wise example to follow. Unfortunately, this story has become the norm in this day and age, as the devil seeks to attack families with a vengeance. We may not realize it fully yet, but he knows… that an instability in the family will rob all the participants of joy and the ability to look towards the future, never mind the curiosity and the exploration it requires for us to discover what it is that God created us for. The daily struggle of survival is at times so all consuming that we are just stuck in that holding cell, year in and year out, never getting out, never growing up.
I can often look at people and see where they are stuck. A grown man may behave like a little boy in certain situations because they are associated, deep within him, with a particular set of traumatic circumstances that keep haunting him all his life. Unless he releases and forgives what was done to him, he will never grow up in that area. It is a huge stumbling block.
Many business people lack the ability to be successful in ways they’ve never even perceived simply because of particular points in their lives where healing has to take place, where bandages may have to be ripped off to reveal the oozing sores. You may hide the wound, but not the pain, the sore but not the ooze. Nothing hidden will stay hidden forever.
But I digress.
A few days ago, the Lord spoke to me very loudly and clearly, that I had to pay attention to what He was doing within my own family: my husband, my daughter and me. I was so consumed with looking outwards for the rains to come that I haven’t noticed the waterworks within my own home.
The Lord proceeded to teach me since then, that I will be successful because of my family, not despite them. Not because I can get away from my little kids but because I can raise my sweet treasures. Not because I can do something alone and apart from my husband but because we can join forces together in respecting and walking out our dreams.
And today, the Lord hit me over the head with a problem I’ve been having the last few years, not that my intentions weren’t pure or good, or valid. I just wasn’t taught by anyone else to see it the way I see it now.
The Lord spoke to me during my walk in the woods and said that I must learn to live in the present with my eyes towards the future, not living through the future with my eyes towards the present.
Living in the future, trying to experience the promises in the present, never able to reconcile the future with the present only lead to my dissatisfaction, discord and fatigue. It was a tension and pull like no other.
I was missing it. I was missing the joy that comes with focusing on my family, my house, my relationships, little things in life. I thought I was doing well in those arenas but now it is clearer to me than ever, that I was not tasting the goodness of God in the now on a permanent basis.
And then, God hit me over the head with another truth that I thought I knew but I didn’t fully make a part of my spirit, because, again, I never saw anyone model this truth; the value and beauty and pleasure of being a mother. Motherhood, the crowning glory of many a woman. The deep enjoyment of our children. The beauty of caring for others out of love, not duty, out of heart, not habit.
Sometimes, we are so great at having the right set of habits and everything looks good on paper but in our hearts there is a lack of fulfillment, most often due to the lack of perception of what is valuable and true.
God places us within our family lines for a reason (Please read my blog here for a continuation of that thought: https://frontlinesministrytrifectareformers.wordpress.com/2018/09/18/redemption-of-families-can-anything-good-come-out-of-nazareth-john-146/).
What is it that God meant to use in your family experience for your progress, for His glory? What are the circumstances that are meant to polish up your sparkle? If you fully submit yourself to God as a living sacrifice, wherever you are planted, only then you will truly find that through giving up your life, you have actually found true life, and in abundance!
So that is where I am now. No longer running from my circumstances in my head but embracing all that I have and living in the now… which is far less fatiguing because I no longer wrestle in my spirit between how I know it will be one day and how it is now. In contrast we derive joy and in contrast we experience unnecessary pain as well.
You cannot stay positive if you are not grateful. And it is a bit hard to be grateful when you are comparing your future to the present or how it could be to how it is now.
And so I choose to embrace my family, to bloom for them in the now, to give myself fully, not splitting up myself between today and tomorrow.
And because of blooming where I’m planted, I will be thriving, not striving. Prioritizing, not stressing. Fully embracing myself as well.
Tomorrow will come and I will be the best version of myself again, not split between two days or what is or what can be.
I will no longer fight in the present, choosing to be at peace with wherever God has me at this moment, giving it my all. And one day, my tomorrow will come, because of my family and all that they’ve taught me, not despite them.
And we will be together, one team. Not split up in multiple dreams, in multiple days, with broken versions of ourselves.
My children will be great one day, not because we strived, but because we thrived. And because we deemed it worthy to try hard for them and ourselves, to be whole and healed. To spend time in figuring things out and uniting ourselves, learning who we are as a family, not only on an individual level, but us all as a whole. For God has great plans for families, to build them up into POWER LINES.
So, we, the PLs, the Pyshnyak-Lawrences, our very own Power Line, do decree and declare that our family will serve the Lord, with a joyful heart and a present mind, with a body full of hope and eyes that look towards the future, because we know that every day that we spend committed to living fully in the now, will bring us one step closer to that ever so desirable tomorrow!